What message are we sending . . .

November 21st, 2015

Earlier this year, I attended a conference led by education consultant and author, Steve Barkley. He shared with the group, how proud he is of his granddaughter and how well she does in school. He described how she had gone the entire first quarter without missing any of her spelling words and earning 100 percent on all of her other academic tasks.

If Mr. Barkley’s granddaughter was our child, how many of us would react to her school performance with great pride and satisfaction? Mr. Barkley’s reaction was much different. It’s not that he wasn’t proud of his granddaughter, but he was concerned that she might not be facing challenges that would cause her to learn and grow.

Mr. Barkley’s perspective challenges me, and anyone who is committed to helping young people develop. As we work with and support our children, I believe it is more important than ever that we emphasize the right things. With that in mind, consider the following:

  • Do we value A’s more than we value learning?
  • Do we value being right more than we value doing right?
  • Do we value convenience more than we value contribution?
  • Do we value playing time more than we value being part of a team?
  • Do we value self-esteem more than we value self-awareness?
  • Do we value comfort more than we value struggles?

It isn’t bad when our children struggle. Our role isn’t to remove the struggles, our role is to equip our children to face and overcome those struggles. By doing so, I believe we are preparing them for the future and instilling in them a growth mindset that will serve them well no matter what they face.

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